A lot of folks got the habit to consider those people, who are into the whole BDSM stuff, a bunch of odd and pervert freaks, who are living in their own world and who definitely need an urgent intervention and a serious mental treatment. That’s why we’ve decided to come up with this article, which is going to draw the curtain from the unknown love techniques and open you a splendid and picturesque view of BDSM art. We’ll try together to discover the mystery behind those four letters – BDSM – and reveal the real meaning of each of them. And, also, we’re going to dig the idea that everyone of us has something to do with bondage culture, no matter whether it is a playful spanking session, or a hard and extreme flogging, or a violent blindfolded anal rape.
The main issue and, at the same time the biggest problem, why people are so reluctant, even scared in some cases, to try the forbidden fruit of bondage sex, is that they actually don’t really know what BDSM is. Moreover, they don’t even have the slightest idea they can be incorporated into the BDSM context themselves, thanks to their hidden desires, uncommon secret fantasies and sex ideas where such accessories like handcuffs, leather outfits, ropes, strap-on dildos, iron butt plugs, ball gags, spanking and flogging sex toys and other kinky accessories, seem as natural as the black stripes on a zebra.
First and most of all let’s try to find out what BDSM stands for.. From the very beginning we have a little surprise, because we will need more than 4 words to decipher it. Thus, we have “BD” which stands for bondage and discipline, “DS” – dominating and submissive and “SM” – sadism and masochism. Two legendary personalities contributed a lot to the last aspect of BDSM culture, it is Marquis De Sade and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. They both were writers and the main characters of their novels and stories were rather often engaged in rough, pervert sex scenes, with elements of physical and psychological humiliations.
Nowadays, even in a lousy souvenir boutique, leaving aside the sex shops, you can find such thing as a pair of handcuffs. This BDSM accessory has become a part of intimate life for man couples that didn’t even dare to think of joining the huge army of BDSM adepts. They got these handcuffs just for fun, without realizing that they have just made their first step towards sado-masochist methods of lovemaking and a whole new world of sex experiments, at the same time. Moreover, even such “deviations of the body” like piercing, tattoo and scar-making are a part of BDSM art. How about leather outfits? They are, also, an integrate element of the BDSM philosophy and believe it or not but the corset wearing comes from the very deep cellars of BDSM culture as well.
Women more and more frequently confess that now and then they are really eager to try the so called “rough sex”, where the male partner penetrates the female without any foreplay and where tenderness and caress are replaced by pure animal instincts and sexual aggressiveness. Quite often, on online forums dedicated to women and their intimate lives, ladies keep asking such questions as: “Yesterday John decided that it is time for both of us to skip from our usual scenario of love making and try to spice it up by trying new sex games, involving role playing, female domination, spanking and flogging and usage of adult sex toys and accessories. Should I agree?” or “Last night, when we were having sex, my partner started to spank me and called me “my little bitch” a couple of times. Is that all right?” You shouldn’t wait for miracles or for any blessing sign from up above to get the right answer. Of course it is all right and, of course, you should agree, as you partners, as well as yourselves, got so used to the routine rhythm of your life style as a couple that they need these changes as a breath of fresh air and as a ray of saving light in the dark and deep forest of a relationship that started to rust. Using foul language during sex is another element of sado-masochism love methods, which eventually can increase the sexual excitement and the level of pleasure. Coursing during the “ritual of love” is so wide spread that it became a hot topic in one of the “Sex and the city” episodes. Don’t get scared when your partner will use a spicy word. Accept it as a naughty deviation from the traditional techniques of sex and an escape to a better sex life.
Another very popular and wide spread bondage activity is the BDSM role playing, where one of the partners is supposed to “bring the pain” into the game, whereas the other one enjoys it. This involves both, physical and psychological abuse, with plenty of accessories and, also, adult toys, such as: ropes, strap-on dildos, leather masks, spanking sex toys, flogging devices and a bunch of other weird stuff. Role playing and domination scenarios should be performed rather delicately, as both partners should enjoy the action, avoiding injuries or any other unpleasant and painful moments.
The key moment on all the BDSM activities is – it all has to be done on mutual agreement and it should bring pleasure to both partners. That’s why it is very important to understand that ordinary daily sadism, rapes in the streets or home violence, have nothing in common with BDSM culture at all. No matter what BDSM activity you prefer or like to try, it is extremely important to know that the dominating partner is always responsible for the physical and psychological balance of the submissive partner. Safety, Reasonableness and Voluntary desire – here are the 3 golden rules that every bondage player should obey, no matter whether it is an amateur or a “guru” of BDSM art.
